Rosh Hashanah Day 1, 5781 ~ Facing our Fears

Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his  book Nine Essential Things I've Learned about Life asks how we can find the will power to face great challenges. He writes: "I find God not in the test that life imposes on us but in the ability of ordinary people to rise to the challenge, to find within themselves qualities of soul, qualities of courage they did not know they had until the day they needed them. God does not send the problem, the illness, the accident, the hurricane, and God does not take them away...Rather, God sends us the strength and determination of which we did not believe ourselves capable, so that we can deal with, or live with, problems that no one can make go away."

Reb Nachman of Bratzlav, one of the great Hasidic masters, lived with that strength and determination.  He taught that "You are never given an obstacle you cannot overcome.” (pause)  Reb Nachman understood the depth of these words through his own life’s experience.Two of his daughters died in infancy and two sons both died within a year and a half of their births. His wife passed away from tuberculosis, his house burned to the ground and he was forced to move to a new community, and he contracted tuberculosis.  Each one of these moments in life would be  enough to destroy any individual. (pause) Compounded, many of us would not survive.   (pause) Yet, Reb Nachman’s simple ways of understanding life helped him to continue to live through the tragedies and blessings.  His words are quite familiar:  “Kol a-olam kulo” The whole entire world is” a “gesher tzar meod” a very narrow bridge.  “Vha-ikar,” and what is quintessential: “lo lefached klal,” not to worry or fear “klal.” Most have translated the word “klal” to mean “not to fear at all.”I don’t think that is realistic. (pause)  I would like to translate it  differently…do not worry about “the klal,” do not worry about the generalities in life, the things that are beyond what we can control. However, “the prat,” the specifics, now that is something we each should consider. It is “the what” or “the how” do we make the bridge seem not as narrow?  How might we find the day not as lonely? How do we overcome some of those magnified fears of this year?

As we reflect upon his words,  perhaps each one of us can think about one event, one obstacle that challenged us during this past year. Some of us dealt with a health issue or the passing of a loved one; some dealt with children’s issues, employment, finances, marriage …there are a host of them. All of us are  dealing with Covid 19.  How are we  emotionally dealing with the long term impact in our personal lives, our daily living, our not being with family, with friends? How strong are we? How are we coping with changes that seem to be the new normal? I struggle with you as I hear stories.    It is so unnatural to not sit at a table with friends, not to visit a parent, not to hug a grandchild, not to be together in one place celebrating Rosh Hashanah. One congregant recently shared with me that she is saddened by the fact that her year old granddaughter knows her through pictures. She can point “me out in the picture. I finally saw her…six months…but I couldn’t hug her…I couldn’t give her a kiss.” It is the tough choice that we all have to make to choose life, not just for me, but for my family, for my friends, for our world.

This narrow bridge might seem contrary to  what the Torah wanted in life. It goes against what we hope for in family and human relationships.  But the Torah is most realistic…so are the stories of life that is not lived in Gan Eden.

This morning’s Torah reading on one hand gives us  hope for every new life born. We sense the joy of Sarah and of Abraham with the birth of Issac. But then it brings us into the reality of life, where there are challenges: We see Sarah’s true personality and her fears about the challenges in her life.  She deals with them by making demands upon Abraham that in many ways seem unfair and uncharacteristic of the first matriarch of Jewish tradition and the Bible. Abraham asks God: so what should I do? My wife Sarah is making demands, and I am at a loss as how I should respond to her.  How can I possibly banish my son Ishmael and his mother Hagar from my home?  This is new territory for me…. There is no manual on how to deal with Sarah’s rage… her fear… my fears.  

God’s answers aren’t always obvious and the actions we need to take aren’t always clear.  Every year as I continue to read the story, even though I know the ending, I find God’s response to Abraham so troubling. Not because I am a modern thinker. It’s because I am a Torah thinker. It’s because I am human.  And even though like most Disney movies there is a happy ever after ending, I am just as troubled for Hagar and Ishamel, as I am for those facing the challenges in our society today. Having been one of those who for months guided and helped families in the most tragic of times, I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it was to witness and to be a part of what appeared to be insensitive protocols. There were many moments that I cried in my car by the side of the road for the families. There were many moments that fear creeped through my soul.

But our Torah reading  concludes with a note of hope. As  Hagar and Ishmael wait for their imminent demise from lack of water an angel appears to Hagar. The angel had not heard her cry, but that of her son…the once tall and strong 13 year old, boasting about life and his conquests, now humbled as he thought his life was near its end. And it was then, and only then, that the angel of God appeared…and as Hagar looked up she realized that there was a well, just a bit a way, where she could find water…where hope for life could once again be found. Had the well magically appeared, or had she simply been too stuck in her distress to think beyond the immediate situation  and notice the well, the solution?

Sometimes there is a need as Yehuda Kurtzer, president of the Shalom Hartmann Institute suggests that we  “go beyond the inherited to find what might be hidden from us; to show us how we can meet the challenges before us,” like Hagar suddenly able to see the water.  Sometimes the solution is obvious – you get a flat tire…you need to have the tire repaired or replaced. Sometimes you need to look beyond and then the solution will come to you.  It’s truly one gesher tsar meod, one  truly narrow bridge.

At times we feel uncertain and fearful like Hagar and Ishmael as we read our newspapers,  and see the tragedy of the pandemic and the violence on the streets of America. At some moments it feels too overwhelming. There are just too many elements in life to deal with in this politically charged and rapidly changing world of ours that we often find ourselves at a loss, without a clear path into the future. And yet we still go on trying to find meaning in our lives…or I hope we do…which is why many of us are here on this first day of the New Year…either to express our gratefulness or humbly make a request for a better year.

I recently discovered that Reb Nachman’s words were somewhat different than what we all know. His words actually are even more valuable. Rav Nachman's original words were, "k’she-adam tzarikh la-avor gesher tzar m'od, ha-k’lal v’ha-ikkar shelo yit-paheid k’lal." As the official Breslov translation puts it, “When a person must cross an exceedingly narrow bridge, the general principle and the essential thing is not to frighten yourself at all.” 

One of the beautiful aspects of this new normal for us all here at CBE is how our community has negotiated the bridge in such a meaningful way. Those who have joined us for Zoom services in the morning, in the evening and on Shabbat, who have logged onto  JETI talks, have participated in the Coffee without Coffee and other such events, know what I am talking about. We have become an even more caring community, in so many wonderful ways. We have shared each other simchas, and we help each other deal with a challenge or a memory of a loved one. Simply having someone else to see on a computer screen, actually means so much to those who have made community in our virtual shul. Personally, I am not sure that I could have learned so much about so many of you, in such a short period of time, if it were not for how we have been a part of each other’s lives. That is  one way in how we have walked this narrow bridge.

Rabbi Kushner states, we cannot change the hurricanes…and as the Torah says we cannot change what life deals us.  So, while we can’t change it – we can face it; with dignity and courage; and let’s pray that we can make the good decisions and   solve the  problems and most importantly care for the people in our lives.

Reb Nachman taught us hope. As this New Year is now upon us, I end with a songful prayer of Tikvah, of hope, for ourselves and for our world. Let us walk that narrow bridge together with a modern day Reb Nachman…Naomi Shemer.  As I now share it on your screens please join together with me.

Every bee that brings the honey
Needs a sting to be complete
And we all must learn to taste the bitter with the sweet.

Keep, oh Lord, the fire burning
Through the night and through the day
For the man who is returning 
from so far away.

Chorus:
Don't uproot what has been planted
So our bounty may increase
Let our dearest wish be granted:
Bring us peace, oh bring us peace.

For the sake of all these things, Lord,
Let your mercy be complete
Bless the sting and bless the honey
Bless the bitter and the sweet. 

Save the houses that we live in
The small fences and the wall
From the sudden war-like thunder
May you save them all.

Guard what little I’ve been given
Guard the hill my child might climb
Let the fruit that’s yet to ripen
Not be plucked before its time.

Chorus:

Al kol eleh, al kol eleh,
Shmor nah li eyli hatov
Al hadvash ve'al ha'okets
Al hamar vehamatok.

Al na ta'akor natu'a
Al tishkakh et hatikvah
Hashiveyni va'ashuva
El ha'arets hatovah.

As the wind makes rustling night sounds
And a star falls in its arc
All my dreams and my desires
Form crystal shapes out of the dark.

Guard for me, oh Lord, these treasures
All my friends keep safe and strong,
Guard the stillness, guard the weeping,
And above all, guard this song.

Chorus:
For the sake of all these things, Lord,
Let your mercy be complete
Bless the sting and bless the honey
Bless the bitter and the sweet.

Bless the sting and bless the honey
Bless the bitter and the sweet.