Rabbi Safman's Weekly Message
Dear Friends,
As we join together to celebrate Shabbat we invite you to bring a kiddush cup or any glass filled with wine or grape juice and join together with us at the end of services to share in a l'chayim.
I look forward to celebrating Shabbat with you.
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Vayehi 2025
Often when we read a novel or watch a program on TV we almost always hope that there will be a good outcome. A patient who is cured and becomes well; a person who is not guilty is found to be not guilty; children and parents who have a dispute end the moment by hugging one another and everything becomes peaceful again. Disney retells the Grimm’s Fairy Tales to have the stories end happily. Why do we have this desire for a happily-ever-after ending? Most of us would say that it is because that is what we hope for ourselves, for our loved ones, and for our friends.
Think about that reality for a moment.
How often do I stand bedside in the hospital and people ask me to pray, asking for a miracle that may never happen! We want that happily-ever-after ending. Thankfully, in more recent times when I visit individuals, the prayers they request are often more realistic.
Often when I am in the ICU with a Jewish patient who is terminal and near end of life that I have been called to visit by our local hospital, I ask the family which words they wish me to recite at that moment. One prayer is the mishebeyrach prayer asking for healing. The second is the vidui, the final confessional. In these words we are asking that Hashem have compassion for the individual, that the sins or wrongdoings that may have been committed may be forgiven or atoned for at the end of life, and that if there is any suffering that it now serves as that atonement. In doing so, the hope is that whatever suffering is being experienced will now be replaced by God’s compassion, in this world, and in the world to come.
In this week’s Torah reading, Vayehi, we read for the first time of illness in the Torah. The word “vayehi” means he lived. In this instance the word is used to speak about the final chapters of Jacob’s life. Near the end of his life, Jacob, is bedridden. We do not know how many days this chapter in his life was. But the narrative does indicate that the time was approaching for Jacob to die and he summons his son Joseph to his bedside. When Joseph arrives, his father makes him promise and guarantee that Jacob will be buried in Canaan, in the family burial plot, the Cave of Machpelah. Jacob then requests for Joseph’s children to visit him, at which point Jacob blesses Manasseh and Ephraim. (These are the words that we traditionally bless our sons and grandsons with on Friday evenings at the Shabbat dinner table.) Then each of Jacob’s sons appear by his bedside.
Many years ago, when I was a rabbi in Long Island, I was summoned to the hospital bedside of one of my congregant’s mother. Her mother had just been through surgery and unfortunately, the procedure did not end up well. Monique’s husband was a well-known and trusted surgeon. Her mother had suffered a major brain bleed during the procedure that was performed. Based on her husband’s expertise, she had already made peace with what seemed to be the reality.
Her mother lay in bed, comatose, near death. There was little sign of any brainwave activity. I asked the daughter, Monique, which words she would prefer that I offer, the mishebeyrach for wellbeing and recovery or the vidui, the confessional.
Monique turned to me and said, “Whichever you think is most appropriate at this time.” I turned to Monique and I said, “Why don’t you whisper into your mother’s ear the Shema and the Adon Olam. Then I will recite the most appropriate words.” As most of us are aware, the Shema, pronounces our faith in Hashem. The Adon Olam, ends with the thought that I place my soul in Hashem’s hands, and whether I wake or sleep, I trust that God will watch over me.
In a most miraculous moment, Monique’s mother opened her eyes, something that had not happened for days. Within days, she was sitting up in bed, taking food, laughing with her children and grandchildren. And within weeks, she was able to go home and to travel to her winter home in Arizona.
I’m sure you know which words I recited at that moment. But we should also know that such instances are not common. Yet often, I remember that moment, because it provided a happily-ever-after ending to her story.
If the Book of Genesis were to be the only chapters of the Torah, it too would end with a happily-ever-after story. Jacob and Joseph are reunited. The sons and family of Jacob have come down to Egypt. They were spared the famine of some many others in the region. As the chapters of the book ends, Jacob and Joseph die and all seems to be good. We find peace knowing that Joseph has actually shared the final blessings bestowed upon him by Jacob with all of his brothers. The brothers will be content and will find peace with one another, hearing the blessing shared. What was that blessing: that in the end of the chapters in Egypt, all would return to the Land of Canaan, as promised to Abraham. The Torah will end with a happily-ever-after story, but that will take the entire Torah for us to read that ending, as they finally arrive at the shores of the Promised Land.
Please add into your prayers, your own for all those who have and are continuing to experience the tragic fires and destruction in Southern California. Pray for the firefighters and all of the emergency responders for their safety. Pray for those injured for healing. Pray for those who have lost everything, to be given wisdom and hope of the possibility to rebuild what has been lost.
As one person beautifully stated, I am just thankful that my family is all safe. A home and all of our possessions are not what is important. We can always rebuild. But wellbeing and all being safe, that is what is most important.
Shabbat Shalom!
And as we have now always concluded our thoughts of the week,
Am Yisrael Chai!
Bring them home now!!!
Rabbi K